Wow! What a Day!

Yesterday I attended the 3rd Annual Catholic Women For Christ Conference in St. Louis with about 16 other women from our parish.  I wasn't sure what to expect.  I just knew that I was in serious need of renewal of my faith.  Not that I doubted God or had given up or anything just that I was feeling that low time that we all go through in our lives (at least if we're honest with each other).  This past year has been pure hell (in my opinion).  It began last April 9 when my son and nephew were in a car accident and my nephew was killed.  This sent my family into chaos and really played on our emotions, our committments to each other, and for some in my family really put the brakes on their prayer life and church attendance.  Things got worse when a close family friend lost his battle with cancer.  He was my husband's best friend and my husband has really had a hard time with the loss.  I teach PSR at our parish and this year's class has been a challenge to put it mildly.  I have thought about giving up many times but God keeps pulling me back, reminding me that I teach because I love my faith and want to share it.  So Satan has been using our grief and stress to really get to us in our house.  He's trying to get us to give up on God and so far, I've been so weak I've let him go about his business without much of a fight.  I realized yesterday that I'm not setting a good enough example in my house of prayer, living in Christ, etc.  How can I expect my family to put God and prayer first, when I'm not living it either?  I've been playing the poor me, look at my family, without doing anything about it.  Sure, I've prayed to God asking for help but I haven't been lifting up my end of the fight.  God can only work when we cooperate with His graces.  I have got to do better.  I WILL do better with God's grace, love and help.  I will begin each day in prayer (not end each day in prayer as I've been doing) and I will participate FULLY in the Mass (mind, body and spirit).  This is my committment to myself, to my family, to my friends, and most of all to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.